Fat Assassins by Fowler Marita

Author:Fowler, Marita [Fowler, Marita]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Adult, Southern, Fat, Self Esteem, Assassin, Women
Publisher: Scuttlebutt Press
Published: 2011-12-03T08:00:00+00:00

Sundays were usually reserved for cleaning house and doing laundry, so it was declared a no-shower day. It seemed kinda silly to put all the work into showering if we were going to spend the whole day inside the trailer getting dirty all over again. But, since we were going to Mrs. Grant’s for dinner, it was only a half no-shower day. We spent the morning lounging on the couch and waiting on the washer and dryer to signal a finished load. We washed the clothes from last night by themselves twice and ran them through the washer twice, just to be sure all the tear gas was gone.

“I still can’t believe Bob tear gassed the whole bar!” We’d been laughing all morning about last night’s action. “That was classic.”

“I’m just glad my name is finally clear,” Ulyssa declared. “And Sheila knows who the real hoochie is.”

“And Salvo knows about Rick!”

“I'd say Rick was having a pretty lucky day. Lucky that you blew up most of Salvo’s weapons and lucky that Bob gassed Salvo before he could kill him.” This got us caught up in another round of giggles.

“WE blew up Salvo’s weapons. It was a team effort.” I insisted. “What do you think happened after we left?”

“I have no idea. Nitro doesn’t have a jail or psych ward big enough to hold ‘em all. Besides, our lives have been so bizarre lately, I don’t even want to venture a guess. Maybe we can get some gossip from the crew tonight at the races.” She sipped her blended mocha. “But we gotta get through dinner with my parents first.”

We dozed on the couch after we finished cleaning the trailer. It was easier to sleep during the daytime with the noise from local news blaring from the television. I woke up oddly refreshed even though news bits about bedbugs, terrorists, international incidents and local homicides permeated my dreams. I stuck my arms and legs off the couch, trying to stretch the soreness out of my muscles. “That was the best sleep I’ve had in days.” I said.

Ulyssa uncurled on the loveseat. “Yeah. Me too. I feel refreshed and ready to face Darth Guilt. It’s about that time…..you want the shower first?”

“Nah. You go ahead. I’ll get my clothes ready.” I decided to wear my favorite jeans and pink cashmere sweater. I was dressing for the races, not dinner. I knew we could never be together, but I still hoped Eric would be there, so I could adore him from a distance. I was debating between my sexy calf high boots and comfortable black flats when I heard Ulyssa finish in the bathroom. Sexy boots it is.

Here’s to hoping we had an action-free evening.

The heat from the shower worked magic on my sore muscles and I emerged from the bathroom completely rejuvenated. Ulyssa must have been wishing for a fun, yet uneventful, night too, because she was wearing high heels.

“It feels like my pants are getting looser.” I stuck my thumb under the button and pulled forward, so Ulyssa could see the extra space.

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